I've been reading my horoscope a lot lately. Not that I belive in any of that; personally, I think most of it is a load of recycled crap.
Taurus - You're stubborn; try to be nice, change your attitude and you will be free of the bitterness that is blighting your life. Yes--that was part of my horoscope.
Listen: if I'm bitter, it's not because I'm an water sign born in the year of the pig (okay, I would prefer snake or dragon; no woman wants to be called a
pig). On the bright side, my number in numerology is 7. Seven is the number of the mystic (ooh, my inner workings are intricate) and I have an uncanny understanding of human nature. I'm sure you are dying to meet me
now... aw shucks.
It's the 4th of July. People, please don't blow your appendages off--your
friends and neighbors will laugh at you and so will I. My inner workings may be intricate, but I'm human. If you're an adult and playing with dynamite, you deserve to be smacked upside the head with your prosthetic limb. Don't say you haven't been warned.
OFF THE SUBJECT--
I just turned 34. So by the time I'm 40, will 40 still be the new 30? Discuss amongst yourselves. Get back to me.
And finally, I actually saw a movie at the theater. "Land Of The Dead" - I give it 3 1/2 rotting corpses. Listen: I love me some gory horror movies, so when I see "dead" in the title of a flick, just call me happy. Sidebar--I find a seat; I'm sitting next to this fat, loud woman--she's holding 3 seats: one for Miss Piggy herself, but who are the other seats for? The mystery is solved when the fatamarand of a husband comes lumbering up the stairs. Who do you ask was #3? The FOOD!
Now that's a pair of fat bastards. Thank God they were quiet. During the movie, they were probably caught up in all the eating on screen.
Until the next time, stay cranky; it helps the day go by faster.
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