One or the other

I bring questions:

What do you choose? Would you rather look like Courtney Love or Anna Nicole?
Answer: Anna. Why you ask? Because even though she's been dead for a year, her rotting corpse still looks better than Courtney on a good day.

Who would you pick: Nicole Ritchie or Paris Hilton?
Trick question: neither. Besides, can you please tell me what do these people actually do for a living?
Actually don't answer, I already have a headache...

Hillary Duff or Hayley Duff? Another trick; it does not matter--you just want the last name Duff, so Simpsons geeks could always greet you with "HMMMMM, Duff".

Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana? Don't care; I just want the 3 billion dollars she has.

Old Lindsay Lohan or little Lohan?
Young: you could start out fresh-faced and avoid all the tomfoolery that's left her looking like a 40 year old divorced, single mom from Long Island. Sorry, maybe I'm just looking at a picture of her mom; these days it's hard to tell.

Finally, XM or Sirius radio? At this point, nothing. If these two idiot companies merge together that only means one thing--one mega company that falls flat on its face and the subscribers holding the bag and paying the price for their greed.

One final note: do you know where the expression "rule of thumb" comes from? It was the width of stick a man could use to beat his wife with. This was legal, people.

 God Bless America.