So it's been awhile since I wrote anything.
I'll start with an old one not published on Clementines Folly-
Original date- October 25, 2010 Title-This smells funny...Try it
Spent a Sunday afternoon in Dumbo. I decided to check out this Steampunk event, held at a loft space. I've been intrigued by the whole concept of the Victorian/Science Fiction meld-
Also I'm a sucker for the old timey style of dress.
Top hat, canes, spats, gals in corsets, men with wacky facial hair,
drinking tea, and eating lavender infused cookies. I waltzed in and surveyed the scene. Looking for a place to sit I found the last empty chair.
Before I sat down I asked the if the seat was taken, The raven haired sour faced woman responded by "swanning" her hand to the seat. I took this to mean"you may uninvited guest" As I sat down the gent next to her in proper attire tipped his yes-black velvet top hat and uttered "Welcome". I stayed long enough to listen to three writers give impromptu readings
of their work. At the event they were serving tea and biscuits I could have used something to soothe my dry throat, but I already felt a bit out of place, and too shy to ask for a cup I did without. Not a total convert to Steampunk-but I enjoyed myself and I was impressed by the commitment of the attendees.
So what to do next? I took my camera out of the bag and started taking pictures on a beautifully sunny day. What would make it complete? Lets say a lovely grande cup of Pikes Place at Starbucks. Cup at the ready:
( little secret refills are .54 cents as opposed to paying 2.40 for another cup.
seems logical, oh and it shows I care about recycling).
I put my cup on the counter proudly exclaim "refill please" and patiently wait for
my java. Change in hand the barista says 2.40 "please". Confused I say "but this is a refill".
"Oh sorry we don't do refills".
"If you got the coffee here we would, but you didn't
and its at the discretion of the baristas" 2.40 please"...
"Please don't hold up the line thanks"...
Seeing the barista mafia was holding my cup hostage,
unable to handle one more insincere "please miss" from "JANE" damn- I really wanted the coffee, I acquiesced.
Before I left I got "sorry about that, please come again" complete with
sarcastic smile.
Outside of the store I realized I paid full price
for my coffee and they didn't replace the cup.
Full price dirty cup-- I take a large swig, not realizing the coffee
tasted funny not bitter, rancid. The second gulp was even worse
I now have nauseous feeling and an awful taste in my mouth
what to do?
I found a frozen yogurt truck, order a simple
vanilla hoping this awful taste will go away.
At first it worked. then about 10 min later I found myself
feeling the strong urge to throw up.
Now I find myself wandering the crowded streets trying to find an empty space
to "take care of the problem". Everybody is blocking my path- Kids, old people, strollers, dog walkers and hipsters-
I NEED ONE EMPTY BLOCK!
Finally one garbage can and empty street, I cross the block I look to my left
I look to my right , I cross and and of course this guy walks in front of me. "You don't look so good" "Are you OK"?
"Do you need help"? He blocks my way to the garbage can. I gently nudge
Mr. Helpful out of the way to reach the goal.
As I look up he's standing over me "Oh I get it sorry"...
I dab my mouth with a tissue, and say
"Sorry you didn't get your merit badge helping me with directions,
but I'm sure you'll find an old lady you can help across the street".
He mumbled something and walked away...
Later in the evening I found myself in Manhattan, thirsty and a bit drained.
I still needed my Pike. Rancid cup in hand go to the counter at Starbucks
expecting the worst and order my coffee. Huzzah! grande 54 cents, my faith
was tested by Brooklyn but all was well in the isle of Manhattan.
Fare thee well...
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