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Life is supposed to be enjoyed, not dreaded, so if you are in
one of those moods when everything seems gray and pointless you must
snap yourself out of it. It would help if you have something to look forward to. Your plans don't have to be realistic,they just have to be fun--you can never have too much of the stuff.

This was my horoscope on Friday. Okay, Little Miss Horoscope Fortune Teller Bitch... I'll snap out of this, get happy and tra-la-la all the way home when you give me something to work with. Snap out of it. Thanks for nothing. Why should I be surprised? It's from the Post.

My Weird Dream:
I'm in a restaurant by myself; have to use the bathroom--walking through an endless hallway, I finaly reach my destination only to find it's unisex and inhabited by snotty models who keep blocking my path. I finally get to go in--the stalls are made of glass. So when I'm doing my business, people are pointing and laughing. That's the dream. I know; I have no idea.

If anyone out there has any suggestions, I'll listen.

What's the hot fuss?

So let's get this out of the way:
It's a friggin' scorcher. I love weather that makes me feel as if I'm having an asthma attack.

Did I mention I have baby-fine hair and in humidity, turns into a stylish "just escaped from the mental ward" look.

Enough about the follicular trauma. Here are my musings:
The iPod mini has 4 new colors: red, yellow, white, black and a
lovely shade of who gives a rat's ass? It's still the same iPod, people.
Oh--one more thing: for $119.00 you can buy a waterproof case... yes, I paid $250.00 for the damn thing and spend another $119.00
so I can take it in the pool with me... show off.

I went to the zoo on Sunday; had a gay ol' time. Funny--all the animals looked the way I felt. Tired; slothlike--in need of a fan and a cold brew. My personal fave was the red panda. I wanted to give it a hug; so cute, so cute.
(You do realize if I did crawl in the cage, my panda pal would bite my ears off and all the while, small children would laugh at my misfortune and take bets on what the panda would chew off next).

Good night and have some trail mix on me (extra raisins, if you please).

Satan, don't fail me now-- I'm on a roll

Greetings...

So who's seen the Star Wars movie?

Did ya like it?

All in favor, say "Mrrwaaaaah". (Wookie joke)

Okay, I haven't seen it. In fact, the last movie I saw in the theater was
the 9/11 movie. I know that's f%#@&&*-sad.

So, my little marzipan pigs, let me tell you the deal:

1. According to the Post I'm an "Indie Yuppie".
Because I go to Starbucks; because I own a vintage t-shirt;
maybe because I have a job where my boss changes the time on my time
sheet (to pay me less) and I feel I'm in an eternal time suck vortex
that depresses the ever-lovin' shit out of me.

Oh--take me away to Xanadu (wait, I can't rollerskate).
Yes, that's right; I just referenced that '80's classic. Well, not a classic
but leave me with my sad memories of my youth.

Sorry--I digress--I'm a yuppie because I own an iPod; that's it.

Guess what I did last week?
I had my gums scraped. It's called "scaling and root planing"
or, as I like to call it:

SWEET JESUS YOU'RE KILLING ME THIS IS THE WORST PAIN I'VE EVER BEEN IN
PLEASE KILL ME ALREADY SWEET LORD YOU ARE THE BRIDE OF SATAN GET ME A
PRIEST, GIVE ME LAST RIGHTS...

Anyway, my mouth still hurts.

All this pent up bitchin' has tuckered me out.

Talk to ya later.