What Would You Do For A Klondike Bar?

So kittens and love bunnies--have you gotten your special someone a gift yet?
Valentine's Day is almost here and you know that the Duane Reade chocolate and
"Love Gorilla" doll just won't do, so what does one do?

For me, the answer is simply get my loved one the best cake in town. The Whole Foods three-level chocolate cheesecake. Now the only problem is getting it.
I go to pick one up on Friday evening (a little surprise for Rob); to my surprise, it's a madhouse. Every Lower East Side/Chelsea/Manhattanite prick and sundry were there. My first inkling this would be tough was the woman who pushed her way in front of me to get to the crab dip (it's crab dip; it's not going anywhere). As I deftly make my way past the free-range chicken and gluten-free bread; I find myself at the bakery counter. My luck--all three monstrous lines are located right in front of it. I squeeze my way past; I briefly get to glance at the fruit tarts before I hear, "Miss--Miss--Miss--excuse me, Miss". Before "Miss" number five, I turn my head to gaze at a woman who (shall we say) has a passing resemblance to Anna Wintour (in looks and "charm"):

"Don't cut the line".
"I wasn't going to", I replied .
"Whatever", said faux-Anna, "don't cut the line!"
(Okay mistress of the organic market--I'll be a good girl.)

When I finally get the counterperson's attention, I ask about the status of the golden cake.
"Nope--not in", she replied.
"Will it be in on Monday?"
"No but we have a lovely bee cake."
(Bee cake = $7.49 for a mini chocolate cake with a decorative bee--f**k you, Whole Foods)

Down but not out, I figured I'll get Rob some organic chocolate; before I was able to seal the deal, a woman with two three year olds are whining, crying and falling behind their mom. When the woman to my left calls attention to this, it prompts the "Mother Of The Year" to give off this icy stare and state "oh, mind your own business". An angry war of words ensuses and like anyone else, I make haste.

Sad--with no cake (no dignity, either), I walk about four blocks; to my surprise, I find a cute cafe filled with pastries, homey and smelling sweet. I ask if they have any lime bars--"of course", smiles the counterperson. He picks it, bags it and I am done!

So did Rob like it? Loved it. Mission accomplished.

Funny--Whole Foods, for all it's "earthy goodness", it's a real viper's nest of Manhattan ugliness.

Now let me see if I can find a lemon bar.

Happy Valentine's Day.

(Post-script--notice: TWO blogs in one day!)