You have to admit, the language can be salty, but I sure do know how to spin a good yarn.
So I joined a gym. Nothing funny about it, 15 minutes from my apt.; 50 bucks a year.
There I am on the elliptical trainer,
as I sweat away last night's steak dinner, I notice all
the gym rats dribbling in.
I'm sure you may have seen these types: the woman who uses the treadmill for 10 minutes, gets off comes back another 10 minutes back and forth; are you on or off ? Make up your mind, lady. The senior citizen on the bike with her hat, leg warmers, wristbands and yellow water bottle (all she needed was a leotard and the song "Maniac" playing in the background). The gentleman sitting next to her on the bike, wearing a ski cap, jeans and work boots: "pardon me sir, have you ever been to a gym?" Okay, I thought it; I didn't ask the man. Would you? He looked like a mental patient.
The last, always my personal favorite... Muscle guy lifts some weights, preens in the mirror,
more weights--grunting, groaning slamming the weights down; ecch, get a room you steroid- filled freak. And for the love of Pete, stop slamming the weights down; I can feel it from across
the room.
One last thing--to use the equipment you must put your name on the list. People circulating
around the machines; some one gets on, you hear "are you on the list? " The list, the list; OK, we get it--the list. You would think it was to get into some exclusive club. Silly people; after a month, they probably won't come back.
So I joined a gym. Nothing funny about it, 15 minutes from my apt.; 50 bucks a year.
There I am on the elliptical trainer,
as I sweat away last night's steak dinner, I notice all
the gym rats dribbling in.
I'm sure you may have seen these types: the woman who uses the treadmill for 10 minutes, gets off comes back another 10 minutes back and forth; are you on or off ? Make up your mind, lady. The senior citizen on the bike with her hat, leg warmers, wristbands and yellow water bottle (all she needed was a leotard and the song "Maniac" playing in the background). The gentleman sitting next to her on the bike, wearing a ski cap, jeans and work boots: "pardon me sir, have you ever been to a gym?" Okay, I thought it; I didn't ask the man. Would you? He looked like a mental patient.
The last, always my personal favorite... Muscle guy lifts some weights, preens in the mirror,
more weights--grunting, groaning slamming the weights down; ecch, get a room you steroid- filled freak. And for the love of Pete, stop slamming the weights down; I can feel it from across
the room.
One last thing--to use the equipment you must put your name on the list. People circulating
around the machines; some one gets on, you hear "are you on the list? " The list, the list; OK, we get it--the list. You would think it was to get into some exclusive club. Silly people; after a month, they probably won't come back.
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