This public service announcement was brought to you by LeFig

Girls, what's the matter with girls today (here I go getting all uppity)?

Women used to care about themselves, used to have goals; get an education and try to go
someplace in life. Now it seems as if every time I turn around, it's another story about some dumb broad who sent a naked picture of themselves through the Internet, and now shocked! that it got in the hands of the wrong person.

Maybe we used to have a sense of shame; now it's become "I did a stupid thing, but now I'll become an Internet sensation." Or "I'm free; I just want to express my sexuality". Please stop--you're making me nauseous. Express yourself, okay; how about doing a little interpretive dance, write a little poetry--why does it always end up becoming just another cog in the wheels of the machine of stupid?

Sorry; maybe I'm just old school, but all this nudity, all this in your face behavior, it seems as if it's the work of somebody not getting enough love, or somebody has a boyfriend (always a real piece of work) that can just talk them into anything: "baby, you're beautiful, come on, let me show the world how beautiful you are"--girls still fall for that drivel, I guess.

And we know what happens next. Once a normal gal turns into a freak job with bleached blond hair, duck bill lips and clown boobs (sort of a cross between Victoria Beckham and Pam Anderson, very creepy), she's a star. I would think If I was an actual porn star, I would be pissed that these gals would jump on my turf. But then again, all of you are spreading your legs and/or having sex on camera, so what's the difference?

Women used to have a sense of self; its hard to imagine a time when we couldn't work where we wanted, lead the lives of our own choosing. It's no wonder so many women from the 70's were so damn angry; trying to get a job and some fat bastard with a cigar wants you to be his secretary. That meant sitting on his lap while he called you honey and smacked you on the ass.

When did it go from "ladies we can do it to 10am stripper pole classes"? Really, you would never see a guy putting up with this crap. Maybe when a rash of men are coming out of cars going commando I might change my tune.

And please, If you do not understand what "going commando" means, just ask a 12 year old,

I'm sure they can explain it along with "Rainbow parties", sipping syrup and pulling a train. I must go now; I feel ill.